Kinky Files

Lady Muck

Lady Muck

I RARELY SEE THE women whose houses I clean; for the most part, they leave early, come home late, and leave me a wad of banknotes on the granite, or Corian, or quartz kitchen counter at...

Lucky dip

Lucky dip

‘TELL ME AGAIN HOW long you left the email unread?’ ‘Three days, sir.’ ‘And tell me again why you left it unread for three days?’ ‘Because I got another one two minutes later, and it was from...

Girl on film

Girl on film

OBVIOUSLY THERE IS SOMETHING wrong with me. Women are meant to like wafty costume romances with bedroom curtains blowing symbolically in the wind. They are meant to like chocolate box fairy stories of the Richard...

Lucky charm

Lucky charm

THE OFFICE SUITED CHARLOTTE well; it was not large but it was luxuriously appointed, with thick pile carpets and a smell of expensive leather from the chairs and the antique desk blotters. With her opening day...

Down and dirty

Down and dirty

IT’S ALMOST EMBARRASSING TO admit that this is my favourite fantasy. It is so commonplace, after all, and something plenty of women do every day and every night. If only I wasn’t such a freak,...

Lucky Break

Lucky Break

CHARLOTTE HAD FOUND a new way to deal with the drone and drear of the weekly office meeting. Instead of doodling on her desk blotter and ticking off the number of times her manager used...

Window Dressing

Window Dressing

IT POPS BACK INTO my head every so often, usually in that hazy, heavy time between waking and sleeping, and when it does, I gorge on the scene, lingering over every detail until it is...