Kinky Files

Happily collared life

Happily collared life

THE MORNING RITUAL was almost always the same. The alarm woke Charlotte at 6 a.m., and her first task of the day was to check her bedfellow – which could be Collins or Bryant or,...

Lucky stars

Lucky stars

LONDON LEGEND HAD IT that the building had been, at various times, a church; a music hall; the headquarters of an occult secret society; a prison; an illegal drinking club. Now its upper floors functioned...

Lucky Strike

Lucky Strike

IT WAS DIFFICULT, ROLLING along the tracks from London to Colliton on a forlorn and foggy morning, not to remember the train journey that started it all off. Charlotte laid her head back against the...

Mechanics

Mechanics

IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME I smell engine oil, which makes taking the car for its MOT more hazardous than you might think. I have to inhale it deeply, and the corrosive petrochemical tang makes my...

Lucky Escape

Lucky Escape

‘SO Mr COLLINS IS busy tonight?’ ‘Like I said.’ Bryant looked up from the syllabub, and Charlotte caught a defensive gleam in the usually reassuring blue. ‘He has some business or other to attend to.’ ‘Family...

Lady Muck

Lady Muck

I RARELY SEE THE women whose houses I clean; for the most part, they leave early, come home late, and leave me a wad of banknotes on the granite, or Corian, or quartz kitchen counter at...

Lucky dip

Lucky dip

‘TELL ME AGAIN HOW long you left the email unread?’ ‘Three days, sir.’ ‘And tell me again why you left it unread for three days?’ ‘Because I got another one two minutes later, and it was from...

Girl on film

Girl on film

OBVIOUSLY THERE IS SOMETHING wrong with me. Women are meant to like wafty costume romances with bedroom curtains blowing symbolically in the wind. They are meant to like chocolate box fairy stories of the Richard...